Immortals

Starring: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto
Directed by: Tarsem Singh
Rotten Tomatoes: 36%
Overall Grade: D


I did not expect much from this movie going in and I’m glad because that was basically what I got. “Immortals” has a thin plot, mediocre acting and is overly stylistic.

I am a Greek Mythology nerd and know most of the popular stories, poems, and characters that make up the ethos. That is why I generally don’t care for Greek Mythology movies, because Hollywood enjoys getting things wrong. Names of characters, relationship and so on. However, in this movie that did not come up as much because to be honest, the gods of Olympus did not play that big of role.

The movie is loosely based on the epic poem of Theseus and the Minotaur. When I say loosely I mean it. Theseus is a peasant who is driven from his homeland when the evil King Hyperion, played by Mickey Rourke, invades while on a quest to find the Epirus Bow. With that bow he will unleash the Titans and take over Greece.

One thing I did like about this movie was the action sequences, especially in the beginning. Using cool side angles and nice choreography, it creates a unique shot by shot tale of the battle. Other than that the film is lacking.

The films leading lady is Freida Pinto who plays an oracle with the gift to see into the future. Despite the fact that she knows Thesus for less than 48 hours, she feels the super passion and desire to bang him. This is the forced sexual tension that I hate. It is not real and there is no need for it in the film.

Another place where the movie misses is the gods themselves. Though they play a small role they are there and whoever designed their costumes was clearly high on something. Lord Zeus threatens the gods that if they interfere with mankind’s struggles they will be punished. However, in my opinion he has been interfering for years disguised as an old man!

Rourke’s performance as Hyperion is also very forgettable. Monotone and showing little emotion does not seem to do a mad king justice. Redbox or Netflix this movie for sure. Do not pay full price to see it.